Wise Counsel
Wise words, profound statements that stick and resonate throughout life. We all have them. As we journey through life, we collect more. They become strong foundations upon which we build and live our lives.
One that stands out for me came from a neighbour after our first child was born. She was such a help, being a trained nurse and mother of teenage children, she offered such practical help and wise counsel. She said “I encourage my children to build relationships not empires.”
This became one of my own guiding principles as I reflected on just how profound that statement was. However, after a very difficult season in our lives a few years after our third child was born, that statement had an addendum “Make memories, as no one can take these from you.” We can lose all our material possessions through circumstances, wrong decisions, the dishonesty of others, but no one can take away our precious memories of time with family, with friends, adventures and shared experiences.
Another profound saying that comes to mind, one I wrote about in one of the chapters in my first book “Is that you Papa? Tuning into the Voice of God.”
It was Christmas day. We had my husband’s Canadian niece over from Korea where she was teaching English. My heart’s desire was to give her a very special New Zealand Christmas experience, including the cuisine. A barbecued turkey stuffed with especially New Zealand ingredients. The cousins were together and there was such a happy atmosphere.
However, once everyone had helped themselves, a comment was made to the visiting cousin, loud enough for me to hear. It was a snide remark about there being no cranberry sauce! Not required in this very New Zealand menu. The young person who made this comment was not usually prone to unkind remarks, so it came as quite a surprise and, to be honest, was really hurtful. It felt like a dig, as though I didn’t know what I was doing. After all the loving preparation and frankly, hard work that had gone into making the day so special, it hit my heart.
The immediate moment I felt the hurt, I heard a quiet voice in my spirit say “You can choose to be hurt.” Thank you Holy Spirit. You are quite right. It is a choice, and I choose not to be hurt. Immediately, the feeling of hurt evaporated and I was able to get on with the day with the same joy it had begun with.
That statement has become my rock and solid foundation for the rest of my life. I choose not to be offended or hurt. It truly sets you free.
Another piece of wise counsel that I try to live by concerns those of us with adult children. This one, too, I believe was Holy Spirit inspired. “Only give advice when it is asked for.” It can be so difficult as a parent to stop parenting and simply be a support, a listening ear, without judgement, or the desire to steer them in the direction we think they should go. They are adults and need to chart their own course.
Whenever I find that difficult, I stop and ask myself, when I was their age, would I have wanted my parents chipping in and telling me how to live my life? So that has been super helpful.
Some of the wise counsel from my childhood, and no doubt similar to yours, still resonates today and likely has its origins in Proverbs “Do to others as you would have done to you.” Or sayings like “Pay peanuts you get monkeys.”
One of the greatest statements which has helped me the most throughout my life is this “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
Love, its power to overcome, is the greatest wisdom of all. I have seen love transform situations through kindness, forgiveness and choosing to love even those who seem unlovable. To see transformation, reconciliation, healing and much more. A life lived in and through love is a truly fulfilling life.
No doubt you have some wonderful wise counsel, words of wisdom that have become a foundation for your life. I would love to hear them.
